|
 It
seems almost a sin to admit disliking anything that blooms from the
fabulous Pixar studios. Those folks in Emeryville, CA are responsible
for some of the most excellent bits of animation the world has ever
seen. Toy Story (take your pick which number), Monsters Inc.,
the mind-bogglingly underrated A Bug’s Life, The Incredibles and Up,
name just a few of their invaluable contributions to motion picture
entertainment. I adore Pixar, which is why it feels treacherous to
disclose that the one feature of theirs I not only feel isn’t up to
their standard, but actively dislike is 2006‘s Cars. It just bored me
out of my mind. The premise didn’t do a thing for me and the pacing is
one of the best cures for insomnia around. There is less character
development in Cars than any of the other Pixars, which is usually great
at creating a memorable cast. I found Owen Wilson’s Lightning McQueen
terribly one-dimensionally (no pun intended) and excepting the
late, great Paul Newman’s role as Doc Hudson, I couldn’t care less for
any of the others. I remember feeling a particular dislike for the
tiresome (no pun intended v.2) backwater oaf, Tow Mater. I was
not thrilled to discover that the inevitable sequel, Cars 2, would have
Mater as its focus. Having now viewed the film, I must once again thank
the cinema gods for the creation of Michael Caine (- as I do daily,
anyway) for being one of the few things of value in this sequel
that’s only slightly better than the original.
Cars 2
starts off with Caine playing a facsimile of the role that got away,
James Bond. Caine voices a pale blue 1966 Aston Martin, very like the
ones 007 made famous. He is tracking the whereabouts of mysterious
weapon on behalf of Her Majesty’s Secret Service and once discovered by
the bad guys, employs very “Q”-like secret gadgets; including hidden tow
cables, a variety of weapons ejecting from the headlights and the
ability to transform into a sub or hydroplane to make his escape.
Meanwhile in sunny Radiator Springs, racing champ Lightning McQueen’s
holiday back home is cut short when he is called out on an around the
world challenge against a mouthy Formula One racer from Italy. The
catch is the cars will be using a brand new type of fuel that isn’t made
from oil. When the cars suddenly catch fire mid-race, is it because of
the experimental fuel or the mysterious weapon? Our other question is
whether it’s the new fuel or Mater’s joining McQueen’s pit crew that
will cause Lightning to burn up first?
A
whole lot of subplot for a simple children’s film. What on earth does
the kindergarten-grade school demo that Cars 2 is ostensibly made for
know about renewable energy and fossil fuels? How aware are they of
vehicles like the Gremlin, Pacer or the other “lemons” that play a big
part in the story? Then we have the prospect of the round the world
race which features some Pixar-gorgeous elements in Italy, France and
Japan (including a song by the excellent Japanese pop group, Perfume!),
but shown in such a vacuum there’s not a lot of absorb. My biggest
problem with Cars 2 besides the clogged and convoluted storyline was its
main star, the hapless tow-truck, Mater. I get that he’s the goof and a
simpleton meant to be silly and lovable to the under-twelves, but I
couldn’t stand him. There’s a fine line between slapstick and mentally
deficient and Mater’s written way over to the other side in the attempt
to make him humourous. Mater is presented as a good ol’ boy redneck
whose naïveté about the world outside Radiator Springs gives us comedy
that’s just not worthy of a feature; his first explosive taste of wasabi
and his experience with a high-tech Japanese bathroom are all
predictably noisy and chaotic. Over and over he bungles, causing
Lightning, who just wanted to come home and relax after winning another
title to be taunted into the World Grand Prix in the first place, then
becoming the reason Lightning loses a challenge. Lightning, who gave
Mater chance after chance to straighten up, is quite understandably
enraged, but for some reason McQueen must regret getting angry and is
further made to feel badly for not accepting the tow-truck for the
imbecile he is. Go on, Mater, keep screwing up and learning nothing;
it’s okay, you never have to do better and you can let people down
because we love you anyway. Great lesson for the kiddies.
I’m
sure the audience Cars 2 is made for won’t mind Mater nearly as much as
I did, but in the end, the shtick is tiresome. Thank goodness for the
vocal talents and distraction of the brilliant Michael Caine playing a
cockney James Bond anthropomorphised as Finn McMissle, the old spy car.
His feats of derring-do and endless supply of secret gadgets are some
of the most inventive action in the film and the Bond in-jokes are some
of the only interesting moments for the grown-up viewers. John Turturro
as the Italian Formula One racer is hilarious and there are memorable
voicings from Eddie Izzard, Jason Issacs, Bruce Campbell and Helen
Mirren, once again playing the Queen of England – sort of.
Both
Cars and Cars 2 are near the same placement on my Pixar scoreboard; down
near the bottom. Cars 2’s globe-spanning theme and really lovely
graphics give the sequel a slight edge over its sire. The kids will
still be entertained and their parents will at least have some pretty
art to look at, but I expect far more from that studio in Emeryville
than this.
Toy Story Toons: Hawaiian Vacation
Too bad the short attached
to Cars 2 wasn’t played at the end; it might’ve made up for the nearly
two hours of dissatisfaction that precedes it. The Toy Story characters
(who I knew we hadn’t heard the last of) make their debut in a
new child’s bedroom with all the familiar faces and a few additions from
Toy Story 3. Bonnie and her family’s Hawaiian vacation gives her toys
some relaxing alone time, which makes everyone happy except for fashion
doll Ken, who planned on stowing away in Bonnie’s bag with his eternal
love Barbie. Once there, Ken had a whole itinerary planned, ending with
his and the blonde bombshell’s first kiss. Luckily, they’ve got a
friend in Woody, Buzz Lightyear and the rest of the toys, who transform
the bedroom into a beautiful Pacific isle, giving the pair a holiday to
remember.
All
the charm missing from Cars 2 is heaped on Hawaiian Vacation. Director
Lee Unkrich skimmed the best bits of Toy Story 3; the presence of the
sweet and vacuous Ken and Barbie (- Hilariously voiced by Michael
Keaton and Jodi Benson with both dolls dressed in their actual vintage
fashions) and an appearance by Spanish-speaking Buzz. Hawaiian
Vacation has all the sweetness and clever laughs I expect from a Pixar
film.
~ The
Lady Miz Diva
June
24th, 2011
© 2006-2022 The Diva Review.com
|
