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 One
might reckon in the terse summer days of 2012 when due to tragic and
insane all-too-real events it might seem like not such a good idea to
glorify guns and other killing machines on the big screen. It would
take a film so far removed from the realm of possibility that it could
suspend any likelihood that the public might relate it to the real
world. That complete separation comes in the form of the way
over-the-top bombast and the pure, visceral escapism and laughs heaped
on to the audience in spades in The Expendables 2.
General Douglas MacArthur famously said, “Old soldiers never die, they
just fade away.” I guess the same doesn’t quite apply to soldiers of
fortune. Barney Ross’ merry band of mercenaries is not only showing any
sign of slowing down, but are injecting new blood into their veins with
the recruitment of a skillful young sniper fresh from the sands of
Afghanistan. Unfortunately, the ragtag crew has some unfinished
business left over from their last adventure and their mysterious
mission broker, Mr. Church means to collect on loose ends. Choosing to
undertake a mission in Eastern Europe to retrieve a computer program the
government wants and saddled with the unthinkable -- a woman -- the
bohunks and the female agent discover that they are not the only ones
looking for this particular apparatus. A shady bad guy with real thing
about disrespect, practically owns the town the team have infiltrated.
He has pressed every available body in the citizenry to work mining
plutonium, which along with the program will make him much richer. He
just needs Barney and his pesky pals out of the way.
There
was early word that The Expendables 2 was going to be hobbled by the
requirement by one of its stars that the film be kept to a PG-13-level
of violence. I’m very happy to say that it was only a rumour. The
amount of flying bullets, rockets launched, explosions, splatters of
obviously-CGI blood and joyfully relentless nihilism is well into
R-rated territory. What’s wise about the way all that boom-crash and
destruction is handled is that it’s so over-the-top that it plays like a
live-action comic book and has no basis in reality, whatsoever. This
would also describe the levels of acting by The Expendables 2’s
multigenerational cadre of action stars. Sylvester Stallone (Who
directed the first film, but hands the reins over to Con-Air’s Simon
West) makes a game but feckless attempt to bring depth to Barney, a
man very good at what he does, but questions why he still does it and if
it’s worth the personal sacrifices for himself and his band of misfits
that seem unsuited to do anything else. The only gravitas in the last
film came from Mickey Rourke’s strangely mesmerising, free-association
philosophical solo riff, and as he’s not in this new movie, any attempt
at profundity should await his return to the franchise. The other
Expendables’ performances vary from trying to play it fairly straight,
to offhand, barely-there efforts, to giddy scenery chomping -- I’m
looking at you, Terry Crews. Crews injects a lot of life -- and huge
biceps -- into the proceedings. Dolph Lundgren who was a bizarre trip
in film one, returns as the addle-pated mercenary, who, we are informed,
like the actor himself, was actually awarded a Fulbright scholarship to
the prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Intellectual
bona fides are no help to the Frankenstein-ish giant and his awkward
passes and doofy goo-goo eyes don’t work on the shapely new lady
Expendable. Jason Statham gets his Transporter-esque martial arts
sequence, and he, like the rest of the cast seems to be in it for a good
time -- and the sequel cash. There are expansions of some of the cameos
seen in the previous film and the addition of a new old salt whose
entrance, inexplicably scored to Ennio Morricone’s immortal theme to The
Good, the Bad and the Ugly, will have action fans howling with laughter
and nostalgic delight. Disappointingly, Jet Li is only in the movie for
a hot wuxia-packed minute before disappearing somewhere in China,
claiming retirement, and apparently, spunky new addition Liam Hemsworth
had to rush back to the next Hunger Games film to tarry too long here.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis reprise their bit roles from the
last movie with more screen time, but most of their spoken moments are
spent in awkward self-homage, trading their old tag lines back and
forth. Governor, enough with the “I’ll be back.” Really. The dialogue
is so predictably awful and clumsy it adds to the humour, though I’m
guessing not entirely intentionally. For example, I’m not sure
Stallone’s heartfelt speech at the gravesite of a fallen comrade was
meant to bring hoots of laughter from the audience. Eh, who cares?
Once you realise you’re watching a cavernous-cheekboned Jean-Claude Van
Damme as a Pepe Le Pew-accented villain named Vilain -- seriously -- you
know the script wasn’t written by David Mamet. One small spoiler for a
missed opportunity in all the self-reverential riffing between the
action stars, is that nobody thought to put Van Damme and Lundgren in a
scene together as a look back to their very good 1992 collaboration,
Universal Soldier. I guess they needed the time for yet another “I’ll
be back” variation. Self-homages aside, what everyone who comes to The
Expendables 2 will enjoy is the all-out firepower used as frequently and
dramatically as possible; starting with The Expendables’ version of the
Batmobile, an all-armoured vehicle that looks like a cross between a
battleship and something out of the Road Warrior. Every conceivable
firearm is employed from handguns to rocket launchers, setting off
beautiful pyrotechnics in the wake of their destruction. The
hand-to-hand combat is also well choreographed. To that end, I thought
it was an odd choice to make almost no use of their resident MMA champ,
Randy Couture. Also, the big Stallone/Van Damme face-off seemed
ill-conceived, watching the lithe and limber Belgian whip out his
signature high kicks against Rocky’s straightforward haymakers, but hey,
Sly’s the hero and we’re all about suspension of disbelief here.
There’s so much wanton destruction to choose from, these vagaries in the
action are easy to dismiss.
Expected trifles aside, The Expendables 2 captures all the guilt-free
pleasure of the genre that made these action stars famous, but updates
for today’s seen-it-all audiences. The film revels in the pure,
visceral enjoyment of watching stuff blow up on a really big screen and
rampant destruction where nobody really gets hurt. So leave your brain
at the door and dig The Expendables 2 for the bombastic blast it is.
~ The
Lady Miz Diva
Aug 17th,
2012
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