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 The
third chapter in the phenomenally successful series about a girl and her
vampire, (-and werewolf) the bad news is that Eclipse is not as
good as its 2009 predecessor, New Moon, the good news is it’s still
miles better than 2008’s original emo-mushfest, Twilight.
The
story of average Washington state teen, Bella Swan trapped between two
supernatural worlds and two supernaturally gorgeous suitors has
progressed in fits and starts. Time is of the essence in this story:
In our last episode, the powerful Volturi vampire coven demanded either
the troublesome Bella’s conversion to the undead or her destruction.
Bella’s main bloodsicle pop Edward, is counting the minutes and the
proposals until Bella agrees to marry him. Such an honourable lad, he
won’t violate Bella’s chastity before she becomes Mrs. Cullen. Yes,
it’s still 2010, folks. While Bella continually refuses the love of her
life for no apparent reason except maybe leverage; she wheedles an
agreement out of her beau to finally change her into a vamp as she so
dearly desires in exchange for a marriage vow. Who is the audience
supposed to believe is getting the better end of this deal, anyway? On
the dark side of the moon, Jacob is still howling out his unrequited
love for Bella with his werewolf pack as they alternate running around
the forest in either full fur and fang or jammy shorts and not a lot
else. The news of Bella’s upcoming nuptials and ensuing undeath doesn’t
please Jacob at all, so he amps up his pursuit of the overly-coveted
Miss Swan in the hopes of wooing her away from the sparkly clutches of
his older, colder rival. All this push and pull is happening at the
same time as a baby vampire uprising threatens to expose all the supes
to the public eye. A rash of newborn bloodsuckers -- heedless in their
early hunger -- wantonly slays any unfortunate mortal in their path. No
coincidence this, and as are all things in this series, the root of that
little disturbance is once again firmly in Bella’s narrow lap as there
is yet another person who wants her all to themselves.
The
pacing of last year’s New Moon was one of the things that made it such
an improvement over its predecessor. More action-packed and less
saccharine than the original film, New Moon was tighter and far better
scripted. We’ve got six of one and a half-dozen of the other with
Eclipse. There’s a lot more Edward this time; having existed primarily
as a goofy, Jiminy Cricket-like conscience for Bella throughout most of
New Moon. However, the advent of more Edward equals a lot more talking,
as soon as the golden couple start going on and on about their feelings
and how in love they are, I feel my eyes glaze over and my blood sugar
rising. There still has been nothing in these past three films to make
me like or even care what happens to Bella. Here she has no shame in
using Edward’s honour against him to get what she wants, i.e. vampness.
She plays both her suitors against each other; passive-aggressively
pursuing Jacob by putting herself needlessly into close, sensitive
situations with him, while holding him off by whingeing about her great
lurve for Edward. Never mind that ten seconds later, she’s wearing
Jacob’s wolf charm on her wrist in full view of the clearly jealous
Edward and dismissing his reasonable misgivings with accusations of
mistrust. I’d say well played, player, if it were anyone except this
shining, righteous princess that everyone is supposed to love and
constantly risk their lives to protect. Even people who don’t like her
only feel that way because they’re jealous of Mary Sue, I mean Bella.
Three films in and she is still one of the most unlikable supposed
heroines I’ve ever seen. Thank goodness the supporting characters are
eons more enjoyable than she. The wise focus on Jacob after the
critical success of New Moon is testament to young Taylor Lautner’s
ferocity, biting into the role after he faced losing it to an older
actor. While his chops aren’t quite as sharp(- Ending werewolf puns
now) or as effortless as they were in New Moon, Lautner is still
lots of fun here with a disgusted sneer permanently molded onto his baby
face at the sight of the vamp with his would-be girl. He delivers some
of the choicest lines in the film, as well; “Lets face it, I am hotter
than you,” a fourth wall-stretching wink at the Twihard’s eternal Team
Edward vs. Team Jacob conundrum. Overall, the most of the dialog that’s
not leaded in sugared mush is a hoot. Besides Lautner’s scoffing gems
at the expense of the vampires, Bella’s dad, played excellently once
again by Billy Burke, seriously needs his own spinoff. Easily the most
engaging presence onscreen, Burke manages to keep the audience in
stitches while trying not to betray himself as the justifiably worried
dad he is. The Cullen clan gets a lot more face time in this go round
with background stories for disapproving sister Rosalie and the arch,
flawlessly coiffed brother Jasper. Jasper is intriguing because I was
absolutely positive he was gay. This is not only not so, but clearly
there’s an ‘incest is best’ credo in the Cullen home. Living as a
family doesn’t mean you can’t play smoochy-face with Alice, your
charming adopted sister in this vamp household. Both Rosalie’s and
Jasper’s stories are infinitely more engaging than anything that has
happened to Bella up until this point and I was sorry to see those
vignettes end.
On the
downside, those great supporting turns only make the main character’s
travails more trivial. All Edward seems to do is make regretful cow’s
eyes at Bella and tell her how much he loves her all the time. There
truly doesn’t seem to be anything more to him than that. Robert
Pattinson does the best with what he’s got, which isn’t much with this
character and I can’t help but wonder if Edward will grow an actual
personality before the series is over. Edward is a vacuum for all
Bella’s expectations; he doesn’t exist except to be in love with her,
yet for the life of me I can’t see why. The same sympathies go to
Kristen Stewart, whose Bella is a self-absorbed little manipulator, yet
the actress has to make this person likable. Tough going and she nearly
succeeds, though the contrived, Claire Danes copyrighted/My So Called
Life hair-tuck-behind-the-ear bashful gesture is bone-tired (As is
the beat-looking wig with the wandering part some hateful stylist
plopped on Stewart’s head). Stewart is wise enough to know to let
Lautner shine in his scenes and her reserve elsewhere has avoided the
painful histrionics that we suffered through in the first film. There’s
also a new actress playing an old part: Bryce Dallas Howard is oddly
injected into the proceedings, taking over the role of vengeful vampire
Victoria from Rachelle LeFevre, who I thought nailed the lusty
bloodsucker in mourning for her man, killed by Edward. The thinner,
more ethereal Howard simply isn’t as scary as the earthier, more sensual
LeFevre, who had a feral quality that was almost wolfish in its scene
chewing. I missed LeFevre here and I think the filmmakers made a
mistake; she might not have been the main focus but she made Victoria
hers over the past two films. The rehash in Eclipse of the amazing
chase from New Moon is far less without her and looks like incompetent
CGI. Similarly, the scenes of Bella standing with the fully-changed
werewolves have a Chronicles of Narnia-esque green screen quality to
them that takes you out of the moment in a way that didn’t occur with
New Moon. Some of the Volturi are back, including Dakota Fanning in the
role she was born to play; that creepy ode to Anne Rice’s Claudia, child
vamp Jane, working some treacherous Volturi politics on US shores.
Once again, there’s not nearly enough of them.
With
terrifically erratic pacing, Eclipse suffers from saying too much while
having very little to say at least between the two main characters. The
deadly trite dialog between our supposed leads grinds the film to a halt
and the action meant to wake us up is lesser in quality, if not
quantity. Still, it’s not terrible and thanks to its can-do supporting
cast and moments of backhanded wit, often entertaining. Will this one
win over the dubious like New Moon might have been able to? Nope, but
it’s a nice place holder until the last and hopefully best of the lot
comes along.
~ The
Lady Miz Diva
Jul. 2nd,
2010
Click here for
our review of 2008's Twilight
Click here for
our review of 2009's New Moon
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